And Mind Reading Is A Prerequisite

I will admit that I have never been 'really' employed. After all, what is being a waitress, sales assistant or administrative staff in a university? An internship is where it counts, right? Nevertheless, I've never really felt that Mind Reading was a necessity. Sure, Common Sense is a necessity. So is Good Manners, Resistance to Stupidity, Efficiency and Productivity. But I always felt that it was natural to write all these in invisible ink on my resume. Mind Reading, however, has never been on the list. 

Now I will be the first to say that, while I pretend to act a little bit ditz-y in order to be less intimidating to the less talented human beings out there, I have many moments of piercing insight. I believe in intuition, observation, and gut feelings. Especially the feeling your gut makes when you need to eat or you'd get gastritis. Yeah, a horrible pun. But yes, I will say that I get along pretty well. Short of Mind Reading, with some Common Sense and Guesswork, I tend to be able to pre-empt the expectations of the people around me and deliver enough to make people happy. Thus, imagine my shock when my boss expects Mind Reading.

Why do I say its Mind Reading? Was told, through a Whatsapp to a colleague, that I was to look for biological clocks. Would you believe that? Its like being told to find a flying pig. We all know what it refers to, and we all know it does not exist in the material world. I searched online, found a few gag mentions and called to check because it was impossible to find. The conversation is here. Let me just say that there are some people who really need to take lessons in communication. And they should stop inventing new definitions for perfectly functional words.

And then I was later told to come up with a list of high class venues for a press conference. Naturally, the list of hotels came up. I mean my boss wants to promote a $4000 treatment, so where else would you want to host it save an expensive hotel with air conditioning, impeccable service and amazing food? But no, she wants a location that is unique. Unique as in no hotels, need air conditioning, within the Central Business District, exclusive and reputable enough to make the crowd come on its own. I'm actually ok with her demands? The part I am not ok, is where she told me to think of venues, WITHOUT telling me about her requirements, and proceeding to lambaste me I gave her my list of traditional press conference locations. Is it really me being stupid, or her not being communicative enough?

Which brings me to this: Would I rather have a relatively nice boss who cannot communicate, or a demanding one who is able to communicate expectations clearly? This is not the only incident, although it is one of the more recent ones. I hardly know what is going on, I am expected to do tasks with zero background knowledge, my boss cannot be bothered to directly assign work to me, my colleagues are not particularly helpful. I have been told that most managers and bosses are unclear with their demands, and that such things are common in the working world, and I should just accept that I will always be grasping in the dark. Does this not beg the question as to why people even put up with such nonsense? I do understand that not everyone has the luxury to say what they want for fear of losing their job, but if its guesswork seventy percent of the time and hoping that the boss does not think you are an idiot because poor trial and error... I think its about high time you discussed communication strategies with your employer.

Of course, as everyone knows, I am a lowly intern working in an industry that I am not suited to and am too lazy to change the status quo at my current workplace. I need an internship report from my employer, which is a short term goal and hence, requires my smiling face and enthusiastic response to all the wild goose chasing I'm bound to do. Ridiculous but I have enough pragmatism in me to know that trying to change things at my workplace, with a mere nine weeks to go is akin to making North Korea democratic and the United States communist within the next year. Not going to happen. So I shall just continue to be irreverent and blog as a warning, and entertainment, to everyone who happens to pop by.

Until I have more free time, which is not too soon, going by how free time is a complete and utter illusion. 

Flunked The First Test... Because I'm Not 'Strong' Enough

One of the things that annoy me to no end is being the middle man. You see, as a PR person, you need to represent your client to the whole wide world. This means that you run their Facebook pages, you create their media kits, you write their press releases, you think of strategy for your clients... In essence, you are trying to bring people to the client. Now this is all fine and dandy in theory, and utterly ridiculous in real life. Why? There is the assumption of free will. What do I mean? The assumption is that your boss will like what you create and plan. That your client will not do stupid things like send their products to random people. That your computer is not a Pentium 4 dinosaur that crashes every half hour to remind you that it needs to be put out of its misery. That your boss is able to spell. That your client does not sign random contracts with companies with conflicting interests and get into legal shit holes. That your colleagues are not brainless/ trying to sabotage you into losing your job. How very idealistic are the lessons we learnt in school!

Was recently tasked with coming out with a blogger's e-invite. Forgive this very random comment, but I feel like turning into one of those exceedingly obnoxious and narcissistic bloggers to enjoy freebies as PR and media people pander to you and your page views. Random right? And anyway, back to the invite. It was for a blogger trial at this salon that is one of our clients and well, should have been something relatively simple. Well, it kind of became a headache because there were no clear instructions. When I was tasked with it, no deadline given, and told that there is no specific item that is being promoted because the trial is customised to the participant. Right.

So I created something that I would do for a school project. Clear, concise, neat. Matchy colours because I'm in a matchy mood recently. Sent it away. Some edits by a colleague, lesson: don't use more than a font on one piece of work. Went to the boss for approval. In about 24 hours, the reply came back. "Needs stronger text/copy and images." I assumed she meant that my text was too factual, not emotional and lacking impact. Image-wise, I had a limited number of poorly taken pictures, so I assumed more editing was in order. Fair enough.

Got down to work, by editing the image to make it brighter. Threw in some fancy schmanzy border flowers. Colour match game. Exclamation marks and bite sized paragraph chunks. Rhyming headline. Made it less sterile and more dynamic. Sent it off with the blessing of a more experienced colleague who said that my opening was strong. And guess what? Feedback was that it still needed to be stronger. Obviously I got a wee bit worried, and started raiding my brain for ideas. I am not particularly good at making elaborate pieces of art from Powerpoint and half assed photos, and I felt guilty about being insufficiently creative.

Played around with the text. Made it even snappier, keeping only the bare facts. Shorter. Colour scheme got more contrasting. For fun, I threw in a couple more photos. Crossed my fingers and asked if it was ok. And miraculously, the answer was a 'Yes'! Needed an edgier tagline, and lesson two was to never put text over photos, but it was good to go! Wrapped it up and sent it away, happy that I had achieved something. Boy oh boy was I naive.

Why do I say that? Cue this morning, the first thing I saw when I checked my inbox was an email with an attachment from the boss. "See attached REVISED version. Compare with what you have been giving me for the past two days." According to my colleagues, this is her normal way of communicating. Call me a weak, meek or whatever, but hey, what I gave you is seriously NOT the trash that you seem to imply it is. But maybe she is god damn awesome at stuff like this, and so, her attitude would be totally understandable. Clicked on the attachment. And if you had been there to see my expression, you would have called it aghast disbelief. 3 spelling errors. Expressions are weird everywhere. Grammar is super strange. Annoying inconsistent capitalisation. 7 exclamation marks. Indeed its 'stronger' but its so... Uncouth. So barbaric. Like wearing loud prints and brandishing designer bags to scream at the world. And it hit home at how very unsuitable I am for this job.

I'm one of those who believe in understated chic. One statement piece and everything else should be monochrome. Or play matchy matchy blocky blocky. Contrasts should be calculated and balanced. Flowing text and elegance. Effective, productive and neat. Evidently my boss does not subscribe to the same belief. To each their own and all, but I foresee another 10 weeks of blind dart throwing. Yes I have survived 3 weeks, but mostly through creating editorial calendars, cleaning up media bibles, compiling ad rates and generally being very intern-ish and relatively useless. Come crunch time, how in the world am I going to convince my boss of my ability when we have such differing approaches? For me, in a world that screams out for attention, I'd look at what is silent. To her, most unfortunately, attention goes to that which screams the loudest. No I am not a princess who lives in a gilded cage. I just dislike noise pollution.

And so, on my Twitter account, are the 2 samples for general purview. Take a look, read the text, gauge the design and tell me which you prefer? I need feedback. I intend to learn from mistakes, and of course, as you might have suspected, this has to do with ego-stoking on a very minor scale. Yes I am stubborn, and even though the boss makes the final decision, surely I can conduct my own experiments to see which is more effective? I hope I get to write press releases... And I hope she does not expect similarly 'loud' pieces.

And yes, PR interns are paid pathetically. Days like this I wish I worked in a bank.

First Impressions Matter... A LOT

My first day was something that happened some 2 weeks ago, I'm now in my third week, so things are a wee bit hazy here and there. I'll type whatever I can distinctly remember, and the rest will just fit in as I continue with this blog? Not sure how much will appear here, but I'll do my best!

So first day... Had absolutely no idea what to wear. I mean, I noticed most of the staff were dressed pretty casually when I went for the interview, but I had no idea if it was just a one off thing? Fretted about clothes for a while, asked my mum and some friends, and finally decided on a white blouse with a black skirt and black pumps. According to someone, and I cannot for the life of me remember who, I look like a cross between a school girl and a secretary. Perfectly decent unless your mind resides in the gutter. And anyway, off I went, hoping things would work out all right.

And I was early. As in crazy early. As I've mentioned previously, my workplace has tons of security features. You can't get in through the main door unless you've a pass, or is buzzed through by someone in the building. This is complicated by the lift arrangement, where you can only use the visitor lift, and its programmed such that it will only allow access to the floor that you're going to. Only later will I realise that the visitor lift shares the same console as the normal lifts... Making it such that if the visitor lift doesn't arrive at the first floor within the programmed access time frame, you need to get the unit to buzz you in again. Ridiculous but for good reason. So the thing was, I arrived early as taught (yes, we have career skill classes in school and yes, they are a huge pain) and no one was in yet. Went away to sit down and came back at the stipulated time, only to buzz again and find out that punctuality was not a very big deal in my office. First lesson. Come late because interns don't get the pass, and if you're early, you wait outside in the heat. Go figure.

And then I was waiting there when I noticed this girl in a dress waiting as well, and lo and behold! She's my colleague! Next to her, I looked like I was working in a bank, and it kind of hit me, at that very belated point in time, that just maybe, I had been aiming towards a finance related job. Anyway, away from the things that I cannot possibly change at this point in time, struck up a simple conversation with her, and realised she had forgot her card and was waiting for our other colleagues. Let's call her X. Rather pretty, definitely around my age, long hair, apple shaped body. Within minutes, two of my other colleagues, K and R arrived. K is super tanned, GD-ish hair without the crazy shoulder length extensions, high cheekbones and definitely playing for the other team. Looked pretty aloof, and my first thought was that I would probably never be able to get along well with her. Hmm... R is about my height, growing out rebonded hair and generally very decent looking. Not a very strong first impression I must admit, though I've come to realise that we share similar interests.

So I followed them up, me pretty quiet, which is usual when I'm in a foreign environment and lacking information about my social standing... From their conversation, X and K seemed like pretty good friends, with R the more mature member of the group. While they were not superbly inclusive, I think they felt that I'm someone who is shy? Kept commenting that I'm very quiet and just passively watching the world go by. RIGHT.

Went into the office and noticed that there were slight changes since I had been there for the interview. First thing was that there was a whole lot of boxes packed right at the door. And then they had squished a stationary desk in front of the printer and I correctly guessed that it was my seat. Weird chair height, weird table height, weird corner, but who am I to complain as the intern? And then I saw that the person who had set up the computer must have been a total idiot. No power cable and the CPU and monitor is expected to work? No mouse and keyboard and I'm supposed to get work done? One thing that has not changed since the first day is the overwhelming desire to bring my laptop to the office. I promise I will become ten times more efficient. So anyhow, I set up the computer by digging our all the cables from the metal filing cupboard that was in a mess. Was convinced that the people in the office are unbelievably messy and disorganised. Shows that the people in the office do not care about the environment, which means they don;t really care for the company. And how right I was.

Setting up took something like half an hour, most of the time hunting for the carious cables and figuring out how to connect the super short cables to a power point that is strategically miles away. Managed everything and realised that I have no internet connection, and no one in the company knew the password. Needed to have the director come in to connect things and since I could not do anything, was tasked by L with reading all the magazines in the office to get up to speed with current trends. How difficult.

So the arrangement in the office was that I was to assist L with her work. I'm seated perpendicular to R. X, K and L are seated in a row, backs facing the director. One thing that came to mind - The director must be a huge control freak. Not really sure about the freak part yet, but she does enjoy a degree of control. Another thing is that its an all female work environment, which can get plenty horrid if things are against your favour.

Lunch was with X and R as both K and L were busy with work. Went to a nearby coffee shop for bah chor mee, which was not particularly fantastic. Talked a bit and was introduced to a little bit of the office politics and how things work. Signs that not everything is all clear cut and clean in the office, which, thinking about all the little things I noticed, was not much of a surprise. Lunch was pretty snappy, and we headed back to the office for more magazine reading on my part, and more email clearing on theirs.

Was entrusted with reading up on 2 of the oldest clients of the company, and there ended my first day. Oh. Forgot to mention that other than L, everyone in my office smokes. Not a choice I would make, but definitely not an area where I can decide for others. Joined them to talk before lunch and during break on the first day, but when they realised that I was mainly breathing second hand smoke, they arranged it such that they smoke after lunch so that I can head back first. Pretty considerate of them.

And so was my most uneventful first day. Magazine reading. File reading. Just... Reading.

A Typical Day - Indoors

Someone remind me to write about what my first day was like? Unfortunately for me, I'm the type who can only posts once per day. Not because of any strange ritual, but by the very token that I do not have enough patience to sit at my chair and compose coherent essays. One per day is about my leisure limit, with about three the absolute maximum. Short paragraphs are not a problem, but if you have ever read any of my other blogs (no this is not an advertisement, I would prefer if you did NOT find my personal blog) you would come to realise that each post is a lengthy affair. I do try to maintain a semblance of structure and I work towards a certain organisation. Yes, I sometimes do plan blog posts. Not in advance per se, but think about it, to have a coherent argument for something like 8 meaty paragraphs, I need to be very passionate, very bored, very talented, or all three combined, to be able to create a decent and interesting post at the drop of a hat. So please do not expect me to blog everyday. NOT POSSIBLE. I can write and post interesting paragraphs every day, but that is not the purpose of this blog. For interesting snippets, go to Tumblr.

So yes, a typical day in a PR firm. I would say that your phone and your email access are two of the most important things you will need. The phone is for calling the 10001 media personnel, along with the clients on your tab. It gets a bit expensive to call with your handphone, and believe me you don't want to be typing texts when you can talk. I, like every young adult, absolutely love texting, but there is a limit to how fast you can text. Some things, no wait, many things are better through a call. And this means that you spend the bulk of your day calling media and customers, answering calls from your clients and the media if you're lucky enough for them to pick up a story and waiting for your clients and media to pick up their phone. Similarly, emails never seem to end. They keep pouring in when you are swamped with work, and they never seem to come in when you are desperately waiting for a reply in order to continue with work. Either that, or you are thinking of a way to compose nice emails and hoping that attachments are small enough to get through. Ah, the love hate relationship with modes of communication.

Another huge chunk of time would be spent in meetings. Depending on your company and clients, you might have something like 3 meetings a week. More senior individuals can have 5 to 7 a week and then there are some clients who only require a meeting once a month or so. Really depends. Anyway, meetings are usually 2 hour affairs, and there is a need come out with meeting minutes after the meeting. Travelling time varies depending on locations, and I think its safe to say that a meeting burns half the day for most? There are internal and external meetings, and its usually less exhausting if the meetings are held in in your company. Naturally, meetings can be very tiring if the client does not agree with what you have proposed, and can be a cakewalk if its someone you are on good terms with, or understand very well. If you are lucky, the clients will be very much aligned with the PR company, and this reduces the amount of work that needs to be done.

Media tracking plays a big role as well, mainly because of the sheer difficulty of contacting media personnel. There are virtually never at their desk, and this is assuming you manage to get a hold of their office extension. It is usually a cat and mouse game, with the general hotline operators of the various media centres playing matchmaker and gatekeeper. It can be very annoying to keep getting that same lady who never seems to know how to pronounce your name nor your company. And I think the operator gets annoyed at you who keeps badgering her for the extension of the various staff. Either way, not a pleasant experience for both.

And another component, which is far easier and far harder than anything else, is to angle and write the press release. In school, it is a fictional situation, so you can make up anything and everything that you want to. Life is most definitely not so fun. You need to write it to gain approval from both your client and your boss. You need to pitch it such that the media will clamour to cover it. You need to think of something memorable and accurate and effective and interesting and NEW. Its easy when inspiration strikes, but sometimes, after writing n number of press releases in a week, there reaches a point that every word you type seems unnecessary and superfluous. Or perhaps you cannot think of a way to angle it such that something insanely boring and mundane seems new and amazing. Its easy when you have big names endorsements or its following a certain trend. The problem comes when you are the pioneer, or it is something of a past trend. Or better yet, when there are gaping holes in your knowledge. Making things up is easy. Making boring things interesting is hard. And it can be very very hard when you hit your limit. All the thesauruses ever published could not, for anything, save you.

Sounds mundane and boring? Well it is! Welcome to a typical day in PR.

So You Think You Wanna Be In PR - The Interview

I did. And in many ways, many of my delusions of grandeur were smashed to itty bitty bits. So I am here to provide a humourous cautionary tale to those who are as naive as I was. To those who want to be in PR after reading this, well done! I wish you all the best in the conquest of never-ending emails and media tracking activities. 

To begin, I need to start with the beginning. A friend of mine who was offered her ideal event internship offered her position with this company, let's call it APR, to me. Of course, she told about 3 other people, but this was unknown to me right at the beginning. She told me the people seemed mad nice and the environment was pretty good. The pay was high for a PR firm (and boy do they ALL pay ridiculously little), and well, I was desperate for some industry experience, so I emailed the director with my resume and prayed for the best.

The call from the director came all an eternity of 3 days later, setting me up with an interview the next week. I agreed, and was a whole ball of nerves as I rummaged through my wardrobe for something that would make me feel like I belonged to a PR company. Well, I ended up dressed like I was going for a Finance interview, but heck it. It was a good thing I was wearing a 3 piece suit that day, because the sweltering heat would have KOed me if I was in a long sleeved shirt and skirt. The very complex security system of the building was superbly intimidating, and the chirpy voice that greeted me an the intercom made me feel horrible. Quickly made my way up, walked up to the door, and encountered chirpy girl, L, at the door. Evidently she had just returned from disposing of the trash, but I obviously didn't know about that at that point in time. Instead, I misunderstood it as her waiting for me and I bet my palms were dehydrating from all the sweating.

First shock - Shoes were to be removed at the door. I felt superbly naked and vulnerable without my heels, and was kind of regretting my acceptance of the interview. A very no-nonsense voice greeted me from the end of the room, and yes, it was the director, M. She looked really busy, she barely looked at me, and told me to wait at the table. I was to complete the usual employment data form while she wrapped up her work. I  completed it in bold, with my best handwriting, in good time and sat waiting. By then I had already calmed down, and I started looking around. Things I noticed... The huge stack of magazines. The kitchen and fridge. Half the people in the tiny office were making calls. All female work environment. Office bathroom. Slightly hostile? Generally not a fantastic impression.

A few minutes later, and I know because I was using my phone, M asked me to go over. Went over and sat very uncomfortably on a squishy black sofa. I was lower than eye level, so I made myself sit very very straight to bring myself up to her height as far as possible. If there is one thing I dislike, its the feeling of inferiority. Should have been the first sign, but I guess I was a little frazzled.

She went through my resume pretty thoroughly, and made quite a few comments about my family and school. I noticed that there were about another 4 applications on her table, and I guessed I started getting a wee bit depressed. The conversation moved to work experience and what I know about PR, and I think I did pretty ok. And then M mentioned that she had 3 applicants from my school, and I threw all hope out of window to join the river downstairs. Gave ridiculously direct answers to questions about my personality, "My greatest weakness is my refusal to accept inefficacy and unproductive people. I will not do things that don't serve a purpose, and I can be brutally honest in telling incompetent people off." WHICH PERSON IN THEIR RIGHT MIND WOULD SAY THIS IN AN INTERVIEW IN A PEOPLE ORIENTED INDUSTRY? Oh well~ I could not care less at that point in time and I just wanted things to end quickly. Asked the polite few cursory questions that I am supposed to and ended everything. Believe me when I say that I was all depressed when I left the room, and I quickly tweeted that I screwed it up. Bye bye APR.

So guess my shock when the acceptance email came a week later. And now imagine my horror when I saw that the acceptance contract was addressed to the friend who referred me to the job. And now think of my disgust when I noticed that I'm paid a 1/6 less than my referring friend. All warning bells I ignored as I corresponded with Director M. Best of all? In NONE of her emails, except the original, did she spell my name right. It was always a mis-spelled variation. And yes, I went ahead and agreed to it. Because I was, and am desperate for an internship. And here ends the exciting first part about how I got in...